Some things are more important than a mortgage

Sue Tierney

“The world loses a man to suicide every minute of every day, with males accounting for 69% of all suicides. Our fathers, partners, brothers and friends are facing a health crisis, yet it’s rarely talked about.”

I was struck by this quote from the people who promote Movember – the annual event devoted to ‘changing the face of health.’

Originally dedicated to raising awareness of prostate cancer, Movember has become a global movement of Mo Bros and Mo Sisters making a difference in mental health and suicide prevention as well as prostate and testicular cancers.

As moustaches wispy, weird and wonderful sprout on the faces of Kiwi blokes this month, I thought it would be timely to talk about why mental wellness has been a lifelong cause we support.

Mortgages are important. Mental health, even more so.

Thoughts on depression, stress and anxiety.

These are absolutely normal states of mind.

How do I know? Every time I sit down with a client to apply for insurance there are questions about mental health. You’d be surprised at the percentage of clients who say they’ve had a mental health diagnosis or treatment at some point in their life.

Staunch Kiwi blokes and women – they’ve all had their ups and downs.

So don’t feel you have to keep these things a shameful secret. As Movember shows, it’s healthy to have conversations about mental health. (It’s also smart to get these issues out in the open when applying for insurance, so we can explain any implications and give appropriate advice.)

We are not psychotherapists but we’re empathetic. It’s all about understanding our clients’ needs.

Smart tools for dark days.

The last few years have been tough for many of us. If you’ve been doing it hard, or you simply feel a bit stuck, here are some things we’ve found that work.

The first tip is something I learned from my mentor Dr Fred Grosse. It’s the concept of ’10 out 10 days.’

This is based on the insight that one antidote to the greyness of a low mood is to consciously celebrate the moments that make life wonderful. They can be quite small things, but they can make your day a 10.

For me, it’s stepping outside to smell the wonderful roses blooming in my garden. For others, it might be taking the dog for a good long walk. A friend of mine who has moved to Mexico shared how thrilled he was to find a great café making flat whites with premium Mexican coffee beans.

If you regularly do the things that make your day a 10 out of 10, you will have a powerful tool to de-stress and stop small problems becoming large ones in your mind. Tony Robbins has a similar concept – he calls it ‘Creating Magic Moments in Your Life.’

My second tip is simple: Seek help.

There are so many charities and groups doing great work in mental health. Lifeline is one that springs to mind.

You can also start a conversation with your mates and loved ones. Movember is great for this because it’s a public event that gives us all permission to be open about the issue. You could even grow a mo if you feel that way inclined (and have the requisite whiskers.)

Giving back.

Last but not least, it’s great to give back. By supporting a good cause, you get the bonus of feeling good about yourself.

Two charities we support financially are Lifeline and the City Mission. The first is there for Kiwis who need help in their dark moments, while the second provides a helping hand for those who fall through society’s cracks. These issues are often linked, by the way.