Many of you will know of Dr Fred Grosse, who has mentored me for a number of years. Last year we ran a survey asking what sort of articles you would like to see. ‘More articles from mentors and property experts’ was high on the list, so we shoulder-tapped Dr Fred to share his wisdom
Here’s a thought-provoking piece he has kindly provided:
Goal setting is the key to getting where you want to be.
First comes the dream – ‘I’d love to climb Mt Kilimanjaro,’ or ‘I want to be rich,’ or ‘I’d love to be fit and have a six-pack.’ It’s a comforting fantasy, with no real form or consequences.
So what’s the difference between having a dream and setting a goal? And how do you move from the dream to the creation and achievement of a goal?
Setting a goal is the first step towards making a dream come true. A goal is a dream or desire, defined within different parameters such as time frame, quantity and quality and with an in-built expectation of realization. Take the dream of climbing Mt Kilimanjaro, for example. Making this dream a goal would transform “I’d love to climb Mt Kilimanjaro” into something like: “My goal is to climb Mt Kilimanjaro, safely, in August 2019, with a guide and two good friends and to drink Dom Perignon at the summit.” Can you see the difference?
When we stay at the dream level we’re maintaining ourselves in a state of limbo.
It means accepting what comes to us in life, and if we don’t get to climb that mountain we say, “Oh well, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.” I’m sure you’ve heard that from people who’ve expressed their dream to be the best performer in their peer group, and then, after putting no form to the dream, have made no behaviour changes and sighed, “Oh well” at the end of another slow year. Once a person takes on responsibility for making a dream a reality by stating their goal, and giving some thought as to when and how the dream is going to take form, then other, invisible, forces are set in action which will support and guide them (and that’s another story in itself).
There’s another very important part to the process of goal setting, and that’s the part that will have the most impact on determining whether the dream that became the goal will indeed manifest as reality. This is what I call, “Making commitments towards the fulfilment of the goal.”
The power of making commitments.
A commitment is a step towards achieving a goal that is completely within our own personal power and is not dependent on another person or external forces. Its purpose is to carry out an activity we know is essential for a goal to be achieved.
What’s the major difference between a commitment and a goal? In my terms, a commitment is an action that we entrust ourselves to do, with an obligation that is as powerful as making an oath. In the olden days, when you made an oath you said, “May God strike me dead if I don’t do this”- it was a do-or-die thing.
For example, if we were to set a goal to climb Mt Kilimanjaro in August 2019, what would be some of the activities that we might have to undertake or set in action, in order to find ourselves at the base of the mountain ready to go?
One of the first issues might be the level of fitness required to undertake such an adventure. An appropriate first commitment could be to consult with a climbing/fitness expert by a certain date and to map out a programme for achieving the required fitness.
Subsequent commitments could then be around going to the gym a certain number of days each week at a specific time each day to carry out specific physical exercises, committing to the diet most appropriate to maintaining the fitness, getting 8 hours of sleep a night, and getting information on related issues such as altitude precautions, inoculations, travel details, visas.
Commitments must have consequences – and rewards.
You can make commitments and then still fail. Why does this happen, time and time again?
It’s because we don’t set any consequences in place for when we lapse and fail to meet our commitments. Nor do we provide for any rewards when we do fulfil them. You’ll hear me say time and again, our soul is our most important ally, whatever we’re doing. So, setting in place rewards and consequences when we make commitments towards fulfilling our goals, is an important way of getting the soul alongside.
Some examples of rewards to help you stretch towards a goal could be buying a new designer outfit, private coaching to improve your golf game or fishing skills, or buying a fine bottle of wine that you wouldn’t ordinarily buy for yourself.
The purpose of a consequence is to put in place something you have to do, if you don’t fulfil your commitments, which would be unthinkable. It could be buying that gorgeous designer outfit and then giving it away immediately, sending your competitor the voucher for the coaching programme with a note from you saying he/she is much better than you, buying the fine wine and having to pour it down the drain in front of the people you had planned to share it with!
Your soul ally will make sure that there’s no way you’re going to have to clean the neighbour’s car for a month, or write a check to a former spouse as a consequence of not doing what you committed to. So, challenge yourself during this process and release the power of the formula!